Nothing is yours until you give it away

"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear
but around in awareness".

James Thurber

My dearest darling,

November 21st 2001 and a year has passed since you started your final journey and it was full of challenges, still you are missed and treasured by many. You left an impression in everyone's heart and we all will deal with this in our own individual way. Whatever people are expressing I am convinced that the main core is love and no one has the intention to hurt. Every person will have his or her own valid reasons for doing what they have to do which surely will be part of the lessons of life.

One of my philosopies in life is that we do not own the other person; we only have been given the privilege to share a part of our life together where mutual respect should be an important asset. As a person we have different types of relationships during our life containing their own values, we are a husband or wife, a parent, a son or daughter, a brother or sister or a friend.

All these people we have to, in the end, leave behind but the love we shared should stay because "death ends a life but not a relationship (1)". None of us should forget that whatever connections we have had during our life we ourselves are a free person. We have feelings, responsibilities, personal values and beliefs and as everyone we have the right to BE and to express this trough making our own choices.

Today I personally want to thank you again for the wonderful time we have shared, the love you gave me and all the things I was able to experience and become aware of during our time together. In my heart a spark of this special love is still alive and enables me to forgive, to let go and thankfully continue my life. To appreciate life in its completeness we need to open our heart and I am eternally grateful for this special gift we were able to give each other.

During the past year I have been contemplating on the promise we made to each other to use our love helping others showing how precious life can be. I express my wish today that everyone who is a part of this process of grief, will be able to make his or her individual remembrance of you one of happy memories and love. I can feel in my heart that you continue to love us all and I hope that your special message will reach everyone.

As you showed with the blue Iris, expressing this message, there was guidance for your soul to a place of eternal love with the strength of the three petals of the Iris representing valour, wisdom and faith.

With all my love,
Caroline

21 November 2002

(1) From Tuesdays with Morrie.