Feeling "at home"
One day, while looking in the mirror wondering whom the person is I stare at, the reflection answers me; "It is you and today we are going to work on ourselves because we don't feel at home in this body". I bounce back and wonder if I should interact with my mirror image. "What is wrong with you?" I ask, and the image is lifting the eyebrows a little. "Well?" I ask again.
Realising that I am talking to myself I smile and suddenly feel a real connection. "I'm not happy with myself," I answer and my lips are sealed again. I notice that my expression is one of intense sadness and the tears make my eyes shimmer. My god, I cannot only feel but also see the pain and my hands quickly cover my face. After a couple of minutes I remove them and immediately stare at the refection with deep and intense intrigue.
The eyes widen and I get drawn into a world I have never consciously been before. This is becoming the voyage into my soul for which I am officially invited today. A warm feeling is entering my whole body and for a moment I shiver and the voice in my head says; "Let me lead you to this special place".
I am standing in front of a door and with slight hesitation I open it. A bright light is blinding me for a moment and slowly the image of a woman is appearing. She smiles at me and says "It is a privilege to meet you". I open my mouth but I am not able to say a word; I just stare at her and wonder, "Do I know this person?" She holds my hand and we walk along a path. "This is your journey" she says, "and I will show you where you are at this moment in time". I squeeze her hand and smile, somehow I feel safe being with her.
We walk along a path filled with images full of colour and expression. I observe the pictures we pass and notice that some of them fill my heart with intense happiness and others with pain. Suddenly I stop and stare at a picture of a man. I let go of her hand and touch this image but my hand is going right through it and I am not able to pick it up.
Frustration is building inside me and angry I turn around and say to her "Can I not take this one with me?" The woman smiles and says " Do you not realise you carry this around with you all the time, by taking it away you wipe out your memories". "All the images you see are your memories from moments in your life you cherish". I still stare at the picture and feel I just want to be alone and let her walk the rest for me.
"Listen" she says, "You want to continue your journey but this memory is holding you back" "This person represents the most important lesson in your life, the lesson of acceptance and letting go". I know exactly what she means and become aware of my own stubbornness.
Although something inside me is still rebelling against it, her words convince me to continue and I stretch out my hand to be guided again. We enter a part of the path without images and… once again I glare at my own reflection in the mirror.
Caroline Hofstede
2001
Caroline is the founder of Cosmic Sparkle, a place for healing inspiration. "Sharing on the world wide web is an extremely powerful tool, it is my aim is to inspire others to become aware of the healing sparkle that is present within us all".