Don't put a label on it
Accepting losing someone very close and trying to go on with life is a challenging task. The loss will leave scars, feelings of emptiness and lack of physical warmth. These can send signals of need and desperation.
Giving love is important in my life and I know that deep down I desperately want to receive. The love disappeared when I lost my partner and the emptiness turned into pain. I find myself now balancing between pain and love, between the end and a new beginning.
Death as a very definite separation, is giving opportunities of finding a new way of loving. Being so close and being able to touch death made me feel without fear. I think love is the most beautiful gift in life and these gifts are temporary, we cannot hold on to it forever. Because death also shows us that we do not own, all we can do is share and be prepared to let go. What the relationship represented will be ours forever. There is so much more to life than we let ourselves experience.
We can look at every new start as a risk or a new challenge. We will make mistakes but at the same time it will teach us important lessons. No one wants to be hurt but the fear can block openness. We have to allow ourselves to be open, to show the fear and guilt only then can can help each other to understand.
The freedom within every relationship is something we can create. As long as there is respect, love and understanding the outcome will be the result of our own effort. We have to be open about our needs, share and accept the baggage we bring into this connection. It will give us the opportunity to grow. Our partner can be the mirror reflecting our needs and frustrations. If we become aware of that, we can share this learning process. Grateful for this new challenge we can start really enjoying each other's company.
If we give the relationship a label like marriage we often are confronted with our inner values and fears. We suddenly lose the spontaneity and try too hard to make it work. We do not want to fail, to lose or to get hurt. Our protection shield is preventing us being open. If we keep in mind that every person is unique, an individual with his or her personal learning progress in life, we can understand that it is about sharing not possessing. We all make our own choices and we should not make others responsible for them.
In every relationship we have different needs because every person opens something different inside us. We need to find out what it is we want to share with this person. If we can recognise the love inside we will be prepared to accept the lessons and become grateful to be part of each other's life.
Caroline Hofstede
2001
Caroline is the founder of Cosmic Sparkle, a place for healing inspiration. "Sharing on the world wide web is an extremely powerful tool, it is my aim is to inspire others to become aware of the healing sparkle that is present within us all".